Let’s meet The Airborne Toxic Event, shall we? Of course I don’t have real interviews with the band members. Instead, I’ve opted for the next best thing by recreating them in cookies. In place of helpful facts where you would learn something about each of them, I’m going to fill it with random bits from my concert experiences.
We start with the drummer, Daren Taylor. The one thing I can say about him is he rocks a ‘stach like nobody’s business. That’s my favorite look for him so even though he shaved it off in recent looks, his cookie still wears it. At the Sacramento show, I chatted with Daren briefly. (This was before I made a fool out of myself by stalking around waiting for Mikel.) I was sweaty, exhausted, and an overall mess. That is why you will never see the picture of it!
In our brief moments Daren had a toothpick trapped between his teeth. In my normal intoxicated wit, I asked if it was a cinnamon toothpick. He replied “yes.” I went on to inform him I hadn’t seen one of those since I was in eighth grade; a time where everyone I knew walked around with a stick hanging out of our mouths. He politely asked if I wanted one and I said yes.
The next day I realized this might not have been the best impression to make. He certainly didn’t say “You like cinnamon toothpicks too? Let’s have beers.” Maybe next time I’ll have some witty cinnamon toothpick banter to pique his interest in having those beers after all.
Steven is the lead guitarist and I don’t think I’ve ever seen him speak a word. I’ve watched a few TATE interviews. Steven usually nods his head and chuckles if someone cracks an inside joke. He seems like a very nice person and I was deathly afraid of fucking up his cookie. More to the point, I worried about messing up the ethnicity.
I spent three hours working on eyeballs. When I finally thought I got the right shape of the eyeball matched with a normal size iris, I thought my problems were over. Until I started to work on everyone else in the band. Now their eyes didn’t look right. I tried putting lids on the first one (Anna) and she came out looking like Peg Bundy. I cursed my way back to square one.
The compromise was colored dots for everyone. So if you were scoffing at the fact his eyes were round when Steven is Asian? Uh yeah, fuck you. (Because did you read that part where I spent THREE HOURS?) The colored dot is the iris. And everyone’s irises are round. Plus, it’s a COOKIE!
Anna and Noah are next…